I really miss being the one that she came to when she was upset. I'm really envious that he gets to do that now.
I love her. I'm not in love with her, but I love her, more than anything. I can't think of anything, including my own life, I wouldn't give to make her happy.
I guess I should really mean that- let her be happy, even if it means she doesn't have any need of me anymore. Especially if it means that.
She doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Not like she used to. She answers my crisises with "Oh." or "Okay." or the like. I think she's outgrown me, like the training wheels on her bike or something.
And I hate it- I hate being alone, I suppose...
Because I am alone. I've lost her. I've lost everyone. This whole break we've had... This whole time, I've had text messages from two people. One from a eighth grader who was bored senseless, and sent me abbreviation texts "wsp?", and the other from a wannabe gangsta asshole who wanted me to fix up his service learning.
I'm tired of being alone.
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I would love to text you and such, if I had a phone :C
ReplyDelete[Btw, transexual, and the links don't work, so I give you the first:http://cassielthelostsoul.deviantart.com/art/The-First-Memory-The-Last-Day-141890204
which will take you to the others]
found this blog using stumble and I must say, you've got some very interesting takes on life. :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes people just outgrow each other... but sometimes if saying something or trying to help doesn't make much of a difference anyway, why even try? Do try to see it from the other person's perspective sometimes... it sounds like (from other posts) that what someone says or thinks or if they try to help, it doesn't really do much good. So why should they even bother trying? If there's nothing they can do (especially if they have problems of their own), sometimes the energy and emotion that would be spent just isn't worth it if the only result is to make someone feel better about themself and wouldn't actually really fix whatever is wrong.
That being said, I am sorry that you feel this way...hopefully there will come a point where you can see that yes, sometimes people just grow up or apart and have to worry about themselves and where they are going, but that someday you will also be at that point where you break from the childish things of the past and move on as an adult. I am sure your friend has nothing against you... some people just do not stay at the same degree of closeness forever. They shouldn't. No one can grow as a person like that.