The past few days/weeks have kind of been a blur.
I think I'm developing depression... let me look up those symptoms.
Sadness or hopelessness (check.)
Irritability, anger, or hostility (check. I'm a really un-angry person, but lately, I've been really grouchy. I've been pissing myself off.)
Tearfulness or frequent crying (check. Again. Never used to cry.)
Withdrawal from friends and family (check.>.> I've been sitting up here alone for the past four hours... okay, not unusual, but I haven't talked to anyone, except a brief set of emails on facebook. So...)
Loss of interest in activities (check. Not wanting to go to drama, write or do artistic things? What?)
Changes in eating and sleeping habits (check. I can't keep an eating pattern anymore, and I can no longer sleep at night.)
Restlessness and agitation (check. I can't BE here anymore!)
Feelings of worthlessness and guilt (check. check. check.)
Lack of enthusiasm and motivation (Hahahahahahaha. check. What if I no longer really want to do anything?)
Fatigue or lack of energy (check! Sleep...)
Difficulty concentrating (check. Blogging rather than homework, and I'm barely sticking to finishing this.)
Thoughts of death or suicide (check.)
Anyway... Ummm... Shout out to A.B.(did you realize your initials are AB? *giggles*) Anyway... Danke for the comments, and I'm glad you appreciate my writing. :)
So... I'm feeling really awful. I suppose I've got some kind of cold-thing now, but I'm not exactly sure why I'm so achy. Maybe it's the cold- I hate the weather here- it's so yo-yo-y. If I wear long sleeves in the morning, I sweat all day and still freeze by the time rehearsal's done. If I wear short sleeves, I shiver until I get home, and it takes ages to defrost under my blankets...
Speaking of blankets, I had an amazing nap tonight. About an hour and a half long. I just passed out, and didn't resurface until I had to get up and shower, to rid myself of the sticky sweat of wearing long sleeves. Now, of course, I'm freezing again, because my hair takes hours and hours to dry when not blown dry, so after an hour and a half, it's still dripping.
Lesbian updates... lets see. Uhhh. Oh! Found out a girl (from our county rival school, that I've only met once) has a crush on me! Not just any crush, mind, but a crush large enough that on two separate occasions, with two separate friends, she's mentioned it to people, who were sworn to secrecy that they wouldn't tell me. She's a bit shorter than I am, red-haired, with beautiful eyes, though the part the messengers in question (who by the way, did not spill the beans... I guessed.) focused on her flat-chestedness. From my memory(which isn't perfect, as the occasion we spent together, which consisted of seventeen hours together on a trip to New York City was over six months ago...), she wasn't that flat chested. Although, I am a terrible judge of chest sizes, because, to me, anything below a D-cup is rather small in comparison... (I'm a triple D, moving on up into an E soon.) Maybe she is. I don't know. But she's a very sweet, if not a little interesting. However, perhaps it's this whole kiss-withdrawral syndrome thing...
Speaking of Syndromes, does anyone else have the problem when they'll go to say an acronym, and they mix up the letters? For example, in my A&P class today, someone asked what SARS stood for. The teacher replied "That Asian flu thing, right?" Now, before you get on him for being a racist... well, okay, he is a racist. Anyway, I piped up with "Sudden Asian Respiratory Disease"- forgetting of course, that SARS is spelled with an S and not a D at the end. I quickly stuttered out "I mean, Syndrome." But by that point, it had instilled doubt into their minds (otherwise, I'm nearly positive they would have believed me. I can't believe how much stuff I can make up in that class. =])
Oh, and on the subject of flu- just so everyone's clear, yes, I did have h1n1, and no, it wasn't that bad. I'm still alive... unfortunately.
Anyway, on that happy note, I'm off to bed. Mmmmm, sleep. I haven't slept in ages... almost two hours now! Horrors! Goodnight, faithful readers... who never comment?
So... If I don't have it, I'm not sure what this is. But yeah. I think I might.
